Redeeming Sexual Love shares the Biblical perspective that led to our sexual healing. In this study, we share our story and the Biblical truths we discovered as God led us on a journey to heal our hearts. In our marriage, God brought together a conservatively religious good girl and an anything-for-a-good-time Catholic boy. Our relationship survived because God intervened with truths that guided us through the legalism and addictive patterns of our pasts. The change He created is significant and doesn’t fade! Thank you for your interest in our study. We believe it is a privilege to grow and learn together when, as Image Beareres, we’re willing to share intimate and sometimes uncomfortable truths.
As we share our healing story with others, we see its potential to redeem sexual love for both couples and individuals wrestling with sexual identity and their sexual journey.
Redeeming Sexual Love is the Gospel: God’s love is both redeeming and sexual. Redeeming because it motivates sacrifice on behalf of another. Sexual because the essence of God the Father, Jesus our Saviour, and His Spirit are a Triunity that TOGETHER demonstrates masculine AND feminine characteristics: the essence of “zakar” and “neqebah.”[i] In One unified Image of God. The Church, “the body of Christ,” is supposed to celebrate God’s image in unity that contains both zakar and and neqebah!
Masculine and feminine characteristics, uniquely separate, are never-the-less, strangely united and draw people together. No individual is entirely masculine or feminine; each possesses the potential for either AND both! Away from the Spirit of God, which unites us, we are conflicted by emotions and drives that both draw and oppose. We long to be recognized and valued for our unique characteristics because THAT IS the way He created us! Yet, we also long to be spiritually united because His image REMAINS in every individual! His Spirit drives us to both celebrate our gifts, individuality, and diversity. And also to embrace our capacity to function as one in the unity we long for!
Simply stated: God’s love, the Gospel, is something to celebrate even in bed. Honouring God through sexual understanding that celebrates His plan, is what led us to heal. And we’d like to share that with you, whether you are single, married, sexually active, or celibate. We think Biblical sexuality is relevant to us all!
As God created opportunities to share our experiences and the theology that led to our healing, we’ve recognized truths that are sometimes illustrated better by the stories of others. Because of this, on occasion, Belle and Mandla may be used to represent the female and male points of view, while telling the story of someone else.
~Greg and Carlene
As a boy, superheroes filled my imagination with aspirations of what I could do. Yet, years into our marriage, maturity brought a hard realization. Life is often harsh, and marriage and family a big part of that. Self-sustaining strength doesn’t come from within me but from God when I turn to Him. Real strength is iron sharpening iron from one individual to another. Rubbing shoulders in honest understanding is often painful. Accommodating my wife’s point of view was exhausting! But the honesty and vulnerability we’ve come to share are of God: inspiring remarkable strength.
Weakened by the truths about me that conflict discloses, I am strengthened by the Truth of God’s image revealed in my inadequacy. I don’t always have answers. But with Him, I have confidence. I’m empowered to pursue unity and understanding by One who understands us all. In Redeeming Sexual Love, Mandla is a Zulu name that means power. In power, I was created in God’s Image, and by His power, I’ll succeed! ~Mandla
As a young woman, I had high standards and a romantic ideology no man could live up to. My notion of “righteous” smacked of self-righteousness that resulted in distance, division, and naive judgment that made others uncomfortable. I had good intentions. But good intentions don’t translate into meaningful relationships.
But God exposed my narrow view. Recognizing my need for connection and learning the value of being vulnerable, I discovered that I’m the one who encourages or limits health in relationships. Pointing out my self-righteous views, God began to motivate me toward grace. My journey is still in process. Choices to set aside my fears of discomfort and failure allow me to engage meaningfully with those God brings across my path. Being transparent doesn’t come naturally, and I’m inconsistent. But I’m growing, and I trust, changing as He helps me choose His ways.
Belle ~beautiful! That’s me …though I don’t feel it most of the time. If it isn’t my lack of an outstanding physique, the shame of not measuring up feels ugly. I’m insecure, at least on the inside, and my anxieties look different on any given day! Still, God says I’m beautiful. Valuable. I am the woman He made me to be. That’s hard to believe, but I choose to accept His words as a gift: a banner making me His own. ~Belle
Jesus perfected the Image for all humanity to see. Embracing feminine and masculine perspectives, Jesus lived meaningfully so that grace-full ways of relating could be observed and studied in the realities of life. Jesus’ marriage wasn’t consummated in the flesh of His relationships because it is spiritually consummated in relationships that meet at the cross.
God’s Image drives human sexuality, and sex is a sacrament ordained by God. The act of sex in marriage celebrates the Gospel. Honoring the act of sex in celibacy also celebrates the Gospel of God. Observing and honoring this sacrament in the reality of our lives and relationships, we celebrate that God’s Image remains in all. God’s kingdom is manifest in the flesh of genuine covenant-keeping and eternal relationships that begin in a community of Christ followers. Imaging our creator on earth, it is God’s plan, whatever our story, to join Him to accomplish this work that He began.
[i] Dr, Larry Crabb. (2013). Fully Alive, A Biblical Vision of Gender That Frees Men and Women to Live Beyond Stereotypes. Grand Rapids. BakerBooks.